Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A new theory of relativity

No.. this is not a mathematical post. It doesn't contain physics either and it is most certainly not about Eintstein. This is about how we view our lives in relation to other people's lives. (or at least I hope it is!)

This topic has been lingering at the back of my head since I said bye to my friend H2O when she left the university campus for vacation. Clueless, ann@, cookie monster and I had to stay back because we still had one exam pending. The Life science girls (a more decent way of putting it!) were stuck with their genetics exam! After H2O left it was soon time to say bye to puttas!

The next day, when us life science girls were sitting together and cramming up for the exam, one of us casually remarked that H2O and puttas must have reached their homes. That triggered a chain of thoughts in each one of our heads. They were probably eating home cooked food, sleeping all they wanted, watching TV etc etc.... (sigh... and we still had exams! imagine how irritating and at the same time, inviting these thoughts were!)

At that point of time, my mind completely refused to believe that there were students in our university who had already reached home while we were still slogging with exams. It seemed impossible! It seemed like H2O and puttas were still around in their rooms!

I had no idea back then why that thought seemed so unbelievable. So what if my friends were enjoying back at home while I was sitting and studying in the university?

I realized only recently why I found that so unbelievable. The answer is ridiculously simple. I was just not able to relate to their situation because it was so different from the situation I was in. It was a mere lack of imagination and a lack of faith in whatever little I imagined.

This has not been the only incident when I could not relate to something that someone else was doing. There have been many occasions. Not just for me. I know my friends have also faced it. For example, when I had an exam on a module that Clueless and cookie monster had not taken, I was not able to imagine them having a late lunch while I wrote the exam. From what clueless told me, they were not able to believe that I was writing an exam while they leisurly had lunch!

Such incidents have taught me something. No matter how hard we try, we can never look at the world through another person's eyes completely. There will always be something missing. Those advertisements which come ever so often asking us to "look at the world through the eyes of the flood victims or tsunami vicitms" never thought of this apparently. Maybe to a certain extent we can relate a few things here and there. But not always and never 100%.

We have only one life (or so I think.. even if we had more, would it matter to this life?). We can be only who we are. We have our own pasts to look back on and our futures to control. It is our own present that we live in. Nobody can look at the world through your eyes or walk in your shoes even for a moment and completely understand how it feels to be you. And you can't do the same with someone else.

But this doesn't mean we live in a cold world. It does not mean that absolutely nobody understands the joy or the pain we feel at times. It does not mean that nobody shares our emotions. This is where our loved ones come into picture. Those who have been with us in our past, share our present and look to our future. They are probably the only ones who can walk in our shoes and understand at least 70% of how we feel. They are the ones who can relate to most of the things we do. It is the people with whom we share our lives that we will be able to relate to most of the times.

Mind you.. I said "most" of the times. Not always. There will always be situations where you can't relate.. no matter what! Take H2O's and puttas' departure from the university as an example. Trivial.. yes... but it is still a situation where we realize that our world revolves around our lives most of the times and around the lives of people we love and the people who are stuck in the same situation as us!

I don't know how far this theory of relativity is true. Maybe this is just a post from an inexperienced person. Inexperienced in the ways of life. Maybe I have not yet learnt a few crucial lessons and hurried into conclusions. I have no idea. Perhaps my theory of relativity is true and I will get a nobel prize! (hmm... not in physics though.. i wonder if they have any special category for this!)

So what do u think of the so-called "theory of relativity" that I have put forth? Sense or nonsense???


Clueless said...

hmmm...we've been getting a lot of 'insightful' posts these days from macho girl...now i know what goes on inside ur head when ur sitting silently somewhere!!!

i agree with ur theory... most of the time, we expect everyone's lives to be the way ours is, because we can't see it any other way! it is hard to see the world through someone else's eyes, or be in someone else's shoes...cuz most of the time, we expect the world to revolve around us, and cant relate to anybody else's life!

true...very true...good post. Keep it up! :)

AnN@ said...

dudette, you should really take that logic module. that's all i can say for now cos clueless has already agreed with you and so do i :p

H20 said...

Hey Aparna,
Must say that you are an aweosme writer!!! Do keep it up and continue giving us amazing stuff to read...Well, I will be commenting on the last 4 blogs here only...because firstly, I am too lazy to go to each one and comment...and secondly, my compuetr at home is very slow to allow me to do that even if I wished to !!!
Well, if I kept your thoughts wandering,and made you think about home and not your studies after I left, I am sorry !!! That's why I say life sciences su...!!! :P It's not engg gals' fault if our exams got over earlier than yours...!! Jokes apart,I completely agree with you..it has happened to me loads of times too...
And talk about multiple personalities, it is SO VERY TRUE that people appear different when u tlak to them and when you chat with them...I wonder sometimes if it is the same person...and it is also true that there are so many things I cannot tell the other person, but I can type it out...that's because it has been established that it is always easier to write out your feelings than to tell that person directly...
And about sem 1 being over...I still haven't got over it!! I really miss all my NUS friends really badly...and I am sure I am going to face the same thing as you at the beginning and end of every sem...that's life...to meet and part...to part and meet...
And finally about the perfect gift, I have felt the same EVERY SINGLE TIME I had to buy a gift for someone...Truly speaking, when I read these 4 blogs of yours, I realised how similiar our thoughts are...even I have felt the same sometime or the other...just never expressed it ever...Thanks !!
Am sorry for the length of this comment...but hope you enjoyed it ! Keep writing...
Love n luck,

Macho Girl said...

Haha! so now u know that I am a silent girl!

Do they offer logic module next sem?? In that case, maybe i shud take it! You have been advising me so much abt that! ;)

Thanks for the compliment :D
Lazy bones eh? ;)
I think lots of ppl seem to agree that writing out thoughts is an easier way to express them, though not necessarily a better or more powerful way.
Abt the end of 1st sem, even i miss my friends a lot, but now with the internet in hand, its not so hard to keep in touch, is it? I am really happy that I live in the Internet era and don't have to depend too much on the postman!

Maybe u shud also start blogging... get ur thoughts out! I am sure u will have lots of interesting things to blog about!
Thanks for the lengthy comment. I definitely enjoyed reading it!