Sunday, March 19, 2006

Learning the mysteries of the Laundry room!

Doing your laundry every week is not a mechanical process as you might think!! At least laundry in the laundromat of my block is not! It requires lots of thinking!!!

The wrong method:
  1. Take the clothes to the laundromat
  2. Spot any free machine and dump clothes and detergent into it
  3. Insert 40 cents into the coin box and start the machine.
  4. Come back after 45 minutes to take the stuff out of the washer
  5. Transfer to the dryer.
  6. Set the time.
  7. Insert 40 cents, Start the machine.
  8. Return after an hour to collect the dry clothes.

If this is the method you decide to use in my laundromat... then you are going to lose lots of money!!!! As I said before... laundry is not as easy as you think it is!

The right method: (my method!!! :D)
  1. Take the clothes to the laundromat
  2. Locate all the free machines in the room
  3. Inspect them to make sure that they have the tray for the detergent.
  4. Look inside the washer. If you see any detergent residue at the bottom, then the washer is not fit for usage. It just means that someone else tried to use this machine and it failed him/her
  5. Once the machine passes this test, go to the coin box to see if everything is in order. If the machine number has an "out of order" sign... well then you know what to do! (duh!) You might think that this step should have been step 3. Because whats the point of inspecting a machine which you know for sure is out of order! Well.. I have learnt something about my laundry room. The machines which have water stagnating in them are the out of order machines. Everything else will be marked as normal ones. The ones with the detergent residues are the possible "stagnating" machines which were never identified by the management. Hence this comes to step 6. If the machine passes the first 4 steps, chances are that this is a good machine.. BEWARE OF MACHINE 9 IN MY LAUNDRY ROOM. IT IS AN EXCEPTION TO ALL THE 5 RULES STATED ABOVE!
  6. Now dump the clothes and detergent in
  7. Go to the coin box. Identify the button corresponding to your machine. PRESS the button BEFORE you insert you coins. If not, your coins will get used up for some other chap's laundry whether you like it or not.
  8. Start the machine, adjust settings and relax for 45 minutes.
  9. Return after 45 minutes to begin the ceremony of transfering the clothes to a suitable dryer.
  10. Now for testing the dryer... This time you check the coin operating box first for any "out of order" signs.
  11. Select an empty dryer (or the one in which the previous user's clothes are done).
  12. Check the filter. Remove the dust from it. You might even find money in it! Once I found a dollar in it (which took care of the rest of my drying!)
  13. Check if the dryer spins by manually rotating the inside of it (I have no idea what its called!). The purpose is two fold. It is to confirm that the dryer works perfectly fine and to make sure that there is no stray underwear which the previous user might have missed because it got stuck to the roof of the dryer.
  14. Dump the clothes in the dryer. Insert coins and start the machine. Return after an hour to collect your (hopefully) dry clothes.
  15. Rotate the inside of the dryer manually yet again to make sure that none of your clothes are left behind. (need to be careful about this! someone in my block seems to be an underwear stealer! I gathered this information from a sign that was put up in the laundry room which asked the theif to return the underwear!!!)
I have managed to learn all this after losing lots of money either because I put the coins for someone else's machine or because I picked a machine which didn't drain properly and many other mistakes. I have also learnt that just because everyone avoids a particular dryer, it does not mean that it is a bad dryer! Everyone in my block avoided dryer 5 for a silly reason. The red bulb next to its label on the coin box was missing! So everyone assumed it was out of order. One day, out of sheer desperation, I put the clothes in this dryer. The only free dryer. And guess what happened??? The clothes came out bone dry! Absolutely dry!! Not one bit of dampness. Completely dry! Did I mention dryer 5 was the most efficient dryer in my block???

Dryer 5 has helped me out a lot since I discovered its true potential. Now it has a new red bulb. Today, when I went to transfer my stuff from the washer to the dryer, I noticed that only dryer 5 was empty. Even though I kinda trust that dryer over all others, I performed my routine tests. And guess what I found! The inside part of it was stuck and wouldn't rotate. I thought it might have been because I didn't have the strength to apply the required force. I chose two other dryers just to be on the safe side.

Then a guy walks in. He mechanically takes his clothes from the washer and puts them in dryer 5, inserts coins and presses start. The dryer refuses to work. He pats it gently on the top. No use. He hits it with increased force. It still remains stubborn. He kicks it. It remains still. I calmly walk around the room taking my stuff from the washer to my dryers. He watches me in silent frustration as I calmly insert the coins and make my machines work (just like magic). He can't believe his rotten luck. He just lost 40 cents. And I took the last available dryer right under his nose (insert smug look on my face!!!). He tries to beat up the coin box... but it doesn't give his money back. He looks like he could cry. I walk out of the laundry room.. thinking to myself...

Amateurs.... They'll never learn!!!!!

7 comments:

S said...

haha.. nice post.. looks like laundry is an adventure by itself there.. as for india,, we luckily or unluckily dont have them here.. In my hostels, its the struggle for the bathroom and chosing the right one that beats them all. After all, whats the point if ther;s no water in it??? but my best laundry routine is ofcourse home. Take clothes, dump anywhere.. mum will put them to wash... :)

Anonymous said...

The adventures of the laundry room :) i don't know if you would consider me a "pro" PGP R4 laundry room user. i think i've only lost 40 cents in my whole stay here so far ;) but maybe that's cos i hang my clothes out to dry instead of using the dryers :p ok, i re-phrase my statement: i am a pro PGP R4 washing machine user :D

Anusha said...

Hee!! Too funny! I love it when you make 'what-to-do and what-not-to-do lists...they're so hilarious!!

Ah, laundry. What an amazing waste of time. What an amazing feeling when you're done with a month's worth of laundry and can sit back and relax for at least 2 weeks!! I really should start doing my laundry at times I'm not drooping off to sleep; maybe I'll lose less money that way!! ;)

Anonymous said...

hee i forgot to mention that the inside of the dryer is called the drum ;)

Macho Girl said...

#outlaw
hehe. Imagine me taking 4 months of load back home!!!! Utterly impossible!!! Need to buy more clothes for that! Better solution.. bring mom here! Of course... she may think that the better solution is to just learn to do our own laundry! :)

#ann@
Wow dudette!! Only 40 cents!!!! U shud tell me what ur secret is!!! I lost more than that to come to the stage that I am in right now ;)

#clueless
*takes a bow* thanks a lot :D

Waste of time??????? YOU SAID IT!I hate laundry week! U shud do laundry more often at reasonable hours unless u r a pro. Its like..
warning: the following scenes have been performed by professionals in controlled environment. DO NOT attempt to copy or recreate anything shown here as they maybe dangerous to you or others around u.

#ann@
hehe.. oopsie! Thanks a lot :D

Anonymous said...

there are washers and dryers and then there are washers and dryers. Have you ever tried to understand the instructions in German??If I had saved one penny for every penny I had lost in laundry room I would be a millionaire by now. Some use coins, some are card operated, some come with instructions and some come with wrong instructions and some come with instructions in obscure languages. Over all life could get very comlicated in a laundromat!! There is no substitute for good old sunlight bar soap and a washing stone!!

Macho Girl said...

#double head
Haha! Doing laundry with english instructions is bad enough! I dont think I am ready for german as of yet!

No substitute for RIN Shakthi, a washing stone and a clothesline in a nice sunny spot :D but thats manual labour! :P