Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Parting of ways....

One more semester is over for me... And with this semester, one entire year in university is over. When I come back next semester, I won't be a first year anymore. I won't be a freshie. I will be the senior. And I know that the next six semesters will pass soon and before I know it, I would have graduated. Its just depressing.

This kinda reminds me of school. I had studied in the same school for 14 years... right from kindergarten to 12th standard. And I have made so many friends. Its just that when you are in school, it doesn't hit you that strongly that you will someday have to become a university student and might end up pursuing a path completely different from your other friends. That was the case for me. I took everything for granted. I used to watch my seniors year after year attending their farewell parties and then leaving. To me, they were just seniors... a bunch of grown up students... I never pictured myself in that position....

After I completed my board exams and sent my results to various universities, I got an admission letter from NUS. It was decided. I would go to Singapore to pursue my bachelor's degree. That meant saying bye to my old school friends. I know its not a "good bye forever" type of a thing... But it was a "good-bye forever" to many things we used to take for granted... Even now, this minute, this second, as I type this post out, I can't believe that I am done with school and am in University. Its amazing..... for 14 years, me and my friends were at the same level. In our 14th year at school, we go our own separate ways... Parting of ways due to our varied interests and ambitions..

If I was asked to paint a picture of what I was thinking and what I am trying to convey through this post, I would paint a huge banyan tree... (actually, any tree would serve the purpose... but the banyan tree has a special place in my heart because that was my school emblem and my school campus had at least 7 banyan trees!).

(My school emblem was designed after this very tree. The minute you enter my school, you will see it. It was under this tree that the whole school gathered for morning prayer each day)

The whole situation is like that in a way.. isn't it? We were all going along the same way for 14 years, doing the same thing for 14 years, growing together, side by side in a huge bunch, like the trunk of the banyan tree. Then after board exams, we become like the branches of the tree... each growing in his/her own way, branching out further and further as we specialize in our own areas of interest. Sometimes, the branches cross each other, sometime they grow in completely opposite directions and never meet. Thats how it is with many of my school friends. I have lost touch with so many of them, as we went in different directions, while I crossed the path of those who shared something common with me. Even if not in terms of interest or choice of university, in terms of stuff like orkut and messenger. For example, me and Outlaw. We had studied in the same school till 10th, then she changed schools because my school didn't have subjects of her interest. She went on to pursue law and I took up science. We lost touch. Then guess who I meet in Orkut after coming to Singapore??? We have been in touch ever since. I wasn't so lucky with many other friends of mine who seem to be branching out further and further away...

We just never expected to be separated after school. Now we know that reality is harsh. You can make all sorts of plans to stay in touch.... but it doesn't always work. Now I am in Unversity. I have made so many wonderful friends. And I have had a wonderful time with them. These two semesters were special because they were by my side. We were always together, through the good times and the bad. But the thought of parting ways scares me...

I know that I have completed only one year. I still have three years more to go. But this one year has gone so fast, I am scared that one day I will wake up to realize that I have graduated and it is time for us to go our own ways. I know this time for sure that parting of ways is inevitable. My gang is already made up of two groups.... one group which is interested in Cell and Molecular Biology and another group interested in Biomedical sciences. After graduating, some of us may go on to try and get our masters degree and Ph.D immediately, while some may prefer to serve the bond, earn some money, then pursue higher studies. In any case, parting is inevitable. It just scares me that what happened to me and many of my school friends might happen here also.

I know its too early to be worrying about such a thing. But this semester was really scary. It seems like only yesterday that I came back from India, unpacked and attended my first lecture for the semester. Now I have finished my final exams and am waiting for my results. Whatever happened between the first lecture and the last exam is just a blur with a few sharp memories of certain events here and there. What if the rest of the semesters pass like that? What's the point of giving me all these things when they are going to be snatched away from me anyway? I know that these things make us wiser and better people (thats what we hope at least!), but what's the deal with meeting someone, growing to love them, then saying good bye? Why shouldn't anything last forever? At least relationships.. why don't they last forever?

Parting is inevitable. There is nothing I can do to stop that. But that doesn't mean that I lose their friendship right? Afterall, even if we do branch out like the banyan tree, we share common roots... And that will keep us together.. always. In the meanwhile, I am just going to live my life to the fullest and try not to let anything become a mere blur. I will take care to paint a sharp picture in my mind, of every moment that means a lot to me and keeps me going. I am not dumb enough to make the same mistake twice.... Even if our paths part, I will make them meet again.. somehow...


Clueless said...

That's the spirit, honey. We'll make it work somehow. Take it from someone who's moved often from place to place and has had to say goodbye all too often. It's hard to part from something you love, be it a house, or a city, or good friends. But the thing is, when you do say goodbye, you're gonna go to a new house, or a new city or make new friends, and things will soon become normal again. It's happened one too many times with me - everytime I thought I couldn't bear to make one more change or say goodbye once more, I always comforted myself with the idea that I did it once before and that I'm ok now. Things will change, but that's part of life. And keeping in touch with old friends is a voluntary thing - if you really want to make sure you want to keep in touch with someone, you'll find a way to do it. :)

We've got 6 more semesters to go. Think of how much time we can spend together. I know this year passed by like a flash, but think about it. Hasn't it provided you with lots more to be happy about? Hasn't it given you lots more memories to laugh at and to contemplate over?

Let's think about those happy memories and proceed. Why worry about the future, when we've got the present, now, to make good use of? We'll cross the bridge when it comes, and no matter how tough it might seem right now, we'll be fine. Trust me. :)

And here's a biiiiiig hug from me. Hope it gets you out of your depression and makes you cheerful again. 'Cuz, you cheerful? Me likey. >:D<

soleil said...

As you said, parting is inevitable but friendship will always be there. Even if you lose touch with some friends and find them again after many years, you may find that you can still talk to them like you did before! I feel that's the magic of friendship. So, what I'm trying to say is, even if we haven't talked in a really really long time, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm sure all your other friends will say the same ;)

OuTlaW said...

appu, very very beautifully put.. put me in a very nostalgic mood. but like u said, the roots are the same and thats wat matters.. we picked up from right where we left and i am so sure,, that both of us wil ensure that we dont lose touch again... friends are those people who leave a mark in your life, however short or long, they have been in your life..


You have only seen the branches of the banyan tree going away from each other, but you haven't seen sometimes that the roots again meet each other before they reach the ground and sometimes all the roots join together to make the tree stem more strong and expand.

So dont worry friend. It is a matter of time. You will again be able to meet your friends.

Old friends will go new friends will come. This is life. Old friends will again come someday.
Remember, the earth is circular in shape.

Still u can use technology to meet ur old friends like:-

1) Yahoo Groups (make all ur friends join a group on your school)
2) Blogs (u r already doing it)
3) E-mail
4) Mobile
5) Chats

Cheer up!!! and make a yahoo group on your school and invite all ur school friends to join it through web or e-mail. So if an one posts a message it will go to all of you who have joined the group. Thus u can have a feeling of your school through the group. U can post pictures, files, chat, create polls etc.

Believe me I keep in touch with my school and college friends through yahoo group.


Macho Girl said...

//And here's a biiiiiig hug from me. Hope it gets you out of your depression and makes you cheerful again. 'Cuz, you cheerful? Me likey. >:D<

Here is another biiiiiiig thank you hug from me! Ur hug really helped. Us cheerful, me likey :) >:D<

I know that good byes are a part and parcel of life for all. No exceptions. And I know that things will work out somehow. I mean... I look at myself and realize that. I had to say good bye to so many of my school friends and after coming here I found you and the whole LSB gang. Thats the best thing thats happened to me here and I know I got it only because I left my city and came. But it still somehow seems weird... can't help it... its weird to think that we shape our lives based on our goals and ambitions, such as getting jobs in this field, earning some money and doing good research.. rather than shaping it based on the people we care about... however, on looking at the other side, u kinda realize that if u don't say bye to certain things and people and don't move on, u r missing out on so much. Am I making any sense here to u?

//I feel that's the magic of friendship. So, what I'm trying to say is, even if we haven't talked in a really really long time, don't hesitate to contact me.

Thanks a lot :) The same applies here also! If u ever need someone, even if we havent talked in a loong time, dont hesitate to contact me :)

//friends are those people who leave a mark in your life, however short or long, they have been in your life..

You can say that again buddy! Friends make some of the biggest differences in your life.. and we will never lose touch again :)

//they reach the ground and sometimes all the roots join together to make the tree stem more strong and expand.

You read my mind, my friend :) Its a small world and i know my path will cross the paths of my friends, old and new.

//Still u can use technology to meet ur old friends

Yeah, I know we can keep in touch that way... however... its just not the same thing... it gets kinda impersonal after a while and thats what i dread. I already have groups to keep in touch, but things are so much better when we meet in person rather than meeting online or talking via telephone...


//it gets kinda impersonal after a while and thats what i dread.

true m_girl,

Meeting someone in person is a different experience (dil ko chu lene wala). You are so true.