Friday, October 24, 2008

Hard, Harder........

Each time I think I couldn't be busier or things couldn't get worse, something or the other comes along to prove me wrong. And now I am buried in work so deep that my oxygen supply is in danger! So, here's my week schedule for the first week of novemeber...

Nov 3rd - Module 1 presentation
Nov 4th - Module 2 Poster presentation
Nov 6th - Module 3 class test
Nov 7th - Module 4 term paper deadline
Nov 8th - Subject GRE exam

Yeah, I am not yet done with GRE. If you thought general GRE was bad, you should try writing subject GRE in Biochemistry, Cell and Molecular Biology. You cannot prepare for the damn thing. You simply cannot. Unless you started a year in advance. This exam requires me to recollect what took me 3 years in NUS to learn in all my life sciences modules. If I had known this a year earlier, I would have started revising. Now I have 2 weeks (less than than actually) to cram in 3 years worth of knowledge. Sigh.

On top of that normal module work

Plus, I need to apply to 11-12 universities. Filling out graduate application forms is so complicated! I had no idea! It takes me 2 hours to fill up one form! sheesh :-/

And here's the icing on the cake.... I can't take time off lab work. I need to continue working on my honors project all day long. Sometimes even over the weekends. I won't even say I wish for more time... I have all the time I need to complete the work. I just need the energy to work properly when I am actually working.

There are only 3 reasons why I am still sane in the midst of all this work - Mom, Dad and Clueless. I can't imagine how I would survive the next two weeks without their help. Mom has reduced the workload involved in applications by more than half! Dad's helped out tremendously with the process of application filling (if the applications were like an exam, I'd fail it! I don't know half the answers!). And Clueless has been serving me hand and foot. We're really close friends and so we both know that its ok to help each other out and do stuff for each other when in a tight spot. But she has done so so so many things for me that I feel guilty to ask her for any more favours! I feel guilty about asking any of them (mom, dad and clueless) for favours.

Through all this crap, I have realised that it doesn't matter that I am buried in a deep pool for shit, I still wouldn't wish for Nov 8th to come soon. Its not worth wishing time away. I know I will regret it someday, like how I regret now all the times I just "wished" away before. Even though I am incredibly stressed, I feel this weird sort of happiness because I am reminded that I have people who truly care about me and my well being and that I care about them more than I care about myself. Its a nice feeling to love and be loved :) [I know that totally sounded cheesy :P]

Hypothetical situation - I do get admission in one of the several colleges I am applying to.... and I do leave Singapore to go to the US... just a hypothetical situation.... I know its going to be much harder than these two weeks. Not just the moving and adjusting and all, but going further away from the people I care about is definitely going to hurt more than anything else. But I won't be sad-sad (for the record, no, I am not a fan of sexy from cheeni kum), I will be happy-sad, sad to be moving away, but happy that I have people whom I care about enough to feel bad about going away from

Does that make sense? Or is my stressed mind just typing crappy nonsense? :-\


Clueless said...

It definitely does make sense! The thing to remember when you're swamped with work like this, is that it's all going to be worth it in the end. This is not some futile effort that's not going to pay off. A few months from now, come what may, you're going to be reaping the benefits. Just remember that, take things one step at a time, and most importantly, stay happy doing what you do. That last part alone makes it all that much easier. :)

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