Monday, March 09, 2009

A Matter of Time

It must be a tough job being God and listening to everyone's prayers and trying to decide whose to fulfill and whose to reject. Its all so delicately balanced. Answering one person's prayer could deny another person something dear. If he answers my prayer and gives me admission in one of the ivy leagues, then some other person somewhere else will receive a reject. The opposite is also obviously true.

I guess at some level I have been aware of this (especially after watching Bruce Almighty). But today it just hit me real hard....

Last night I realised I have only about 2 months left in my Singapore life! Just 2 months and then thats it. I won't go to Jade anymore for Hindi movies, my GV membership card will be of no use to anyone, no more lengthy conversations with my best buddy over a steaming bowl of Laksa and so on and so forth. I do really really hope I get accepted in more graduate schools and I do very badly want to go ahead and do my Ph.D. I have a lot of dreams for my career and I have the power to make them come true. But I really don't know how I will manage to move further away from my parents (the first time was hard enough!) and how will I manage without my dearest dearest buddy. I'm gonna miss watching movies with her, sitting and talking away without paying attention to the ticking clock (in our 4th year and still got a lot to talk about!) and doing all kinds of crazy stuff with her! So I prayed for time to pass slowly and let these two months stretch out as though they were two years.

I know two people back at home who are hoping these two months will fly by so that their daughter will be back for vacation.

I know a guy in my lab who just got married and came back without his wife because he needs to find a place to live. He wishes these two months will just fly by so he will be with her again.

I know another Honors year student who wishes these two months will fly by and she'll be freed from the evil clutches of life sciences.

I know somebody who wishes these two months will fly by because she cannot bear waiting each day to hear from universities about admissions (thats not me by the way!)

I know somebody who wishes these two months will fly by so that she can start earning her own money and be independent

I know somebody who wishes these two months will fly by so that she can go to grad school and start an early rotation in the university

Ultimately, I guess its how we spend time. Time is a pretty constant thing and relative to a great extent. Its upto those parents to keep themselves busy so that two months will be up before they even know it and they'll be on their way to pick up their daughter from the airport. Its upto the guy in my lab to put his heart and mind into his research and watch time fly by as he spends his days getting good results. Its upto the Honors student to just put all her efforts into whatever she is doing now, this very moment, and excel in life sciences since she's anyways got 2 months and she might as well make the best of it.

Its upto me and my friend to make every second count and to be happy and not worry about the future... Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away... I wont measure these two months in terms of minutes or days or weeks... I will measure it in terms of all the happy times we have together. And that will be worth a lifetime to me


Clueless said...

*applauds* Well said, my friend. I don't need to add anything more - you've pretty much hit the nail on the head.

Well, I'll just say this one thing (you know me, I can't stop rambling): don't worry about leaving and starting over in a new place. Trust me when I say you're going to be JUST fine. :) *hugs*

doublehead said...

Why don't you listen to Anne Murray. "Time don't run out on me, don't run out on me......". The fact of the matter is that time and tide never stopped for anyone and never will stop for anyone. Make the best of what is in hand. Remember that friends will always remain as friends no matter how far apart they are taken by TIME and DISTANCE.

It is not true that answer to one's prayer is a denial to another ones. That is not how my GOD works. Prayers are answered on the basis of worthiness and faithfulness of the prayee. I am sure your GOD is listening to your and come up with answers to you soon. GOD also knows that there are only two more months, HE/SHE also knows the song "Time don't run out on me, don't run out on me". Hang in there....and best wishes!

Zav said...

fantastic !
the post of yours , i would say !

Zav said...

the best post of yours ,i meant

The Gypsy said...

u said it woman.. memories are there to see u through. and wen ur not thinking about them, u can make them :-)