Thursday, July 30, 2009

We'll still be friends forever! (Part 5)

Dear Clueless,

I don't know what to write in this post. Honest. I've been putting off your post for so long because I know that whatever I write, it will never be enough to describe what you mean to me, or how much you have changed my life in the past four years. Whatever I write, I will never be satisfied, no matter how long the post is, or how carefully I choose my words. Finally, I decided that its time for me to stop putting off the inevitable. Yes, after I finish typing this out, I will still feel like something is missing, that something more needs to be said. But its better than not saying anything at all, don't you think so? :)

I can't believe four years are over. Just like that! Poof! (yeah, I know you are right now thinking of "poof poof!" Shantipriya! :P). But seriously girl... these four years have been so awesome, so amazing. All the fun we've had, all the tears we've cried, all the struggles, everything put together... even the fights!

We're such fundamentally different people. Polar opoosite, I would say. And nobody would believe me, because everybody thinks we are siamese twins! Often I have wondered, how did we manage it for four years, being so different... our dreams, philosophies, hopes, fears, likes and dislikes. Its no wonder we've had some pretty horrible fights all these years... over serious stuff.. and trivial.

Despite the difficulties, at the end of four years, when I ask myself, who understands me the best, the answer is pretty simple. Its you! Despite the differences, we've both grown up together, learning from our past mistakes, learning to accept each other, quirks included. You are the only one who can complete my thoughts, who can predict my every move.. because you know me, you've watched me grow from a teenager, so full of doubts and fears, into a young adult, willing to embrace change. Wait, that's not right... you haven't just "watched" me... you've guided me, taught me what it is to be brave and to pursue my dreams, no matter what the challenges.

You are a paradox in my life. I didn't want to leave Singapore because I didn't want to leave you. Oddly enough, I am leaving Singapore now BECAUSE of you. I thought it would be too hard for me to go through this big change in my life. It was hard enough for me to leave mom and dad four years ago, I didn't want to have to go through the same pain again. But you are the one who reminded me that even though it was the hardest thing I had ever done, it lead me to a better life. And I agree with you. Had I chickened out and stayed back, I might have never found somebody as awesome as you. Now I'm leaving Singapore... going to chase a dream that I have dreamt all my life! I'm going away from you and it is not easy... But funnily enough, I am getting the strength and the encouragement to do this from you. Had I not left home 4 years ago, I would have missed something big... now god only knows whats waiting for me in my new life... I'm scared, but thanks to you, I won't even think about chickening out this time :)

I am going to miss you. We've spent so much time together, it is going to be weird for a while at least to get used to all the changes. I'm going to miss exploring new places with you, especially all the eating joints in town! I'm going to miss you in every cooking mishap that's bound to happen when I start cooking! It would have been amazing to go with you and share a new life.

But I'm going to embark on this new life with one comforting thought. I have a friend for life, a friend who will never turn her back on me when I need her, a friend who will always love me. Know this girl, as long as I am around, you will always be loved.

I wish you were coming with me. I wish we could embark on this journey together. Unfortunately, our paths are different.

But its alright, I know that life must go on. We all have different dreams and we do what we must to pursue them. After all life is a journey.

And its friends like you whom I meet along the way who make the journey so much easier and happier!

I love you very much and hope that you'll find everything in life that you are looking for :) If you ever need anything, just remember that there is one friend here who will always be there for you, and will never be too busy for you.

How could I be too busy for my sweet-hating, bhujia-loving lab partner?!!! :D :D :D

Love,
MG
(Change is the only thing constant in life. I know that now. And I'm loving it!)

P.S.: As you might have guessed, my dear clueless, I'm not happy with how this post turned out. So let me end it with a song for you... by Faith Hill. I'll borrow her song for now. But just know that I mean every word in it :)

When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me how it feels
To feel the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all
The strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength
And I want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
There you'll be

1 comment:

Clueless said...

I really don't know what to say either. I don't think what we went through in those four years could ever be summed up in words. Like you said, nothing would be enough. But what you've done here, what you've given me, is something I can hold on to for the rest of my life. Years later, I can come back to this and I'll know exactly what it felt like to spend those 4 amazing years with you and the rest of the gang.

How quickly the years pass by, huh? It feels like just yesterday that I was messing around with your phone and having lengthy conversations with your Dad. (:P) Who knew then that this would turn into a friendship like never before, one that would remain as strong and powerful through four years of rocky roads and uphill struggles?

We couldn't be more different if we tried. We differ on almost every account. Our feelings about research, our attitude towards things, our very personalities. In fact, I think we have more in common with other people in our gang than we do with each other. But the fantastic thing is that despite monumental differences in personalities, we found so many things to share our feelings about. Whether it be Smallville or Thai Express or playing games on bus rides to keep ourselves entertained, we always found something to connect us. And I think we are one of the finest examples for the saying that people grow closer after fights. How many fights have we had? I can't even count them. But every single one of them taught us a little about the other, and taught us to better ourselves a little bit. That doesn't happen in every relationship. People give up after a couple of fights, but we made sure that we learnt from each one and moved on. Together.

I have learnt so much in four years. I've grown more than I would've thought possible. And a majority of the credit for that goes to you. Having someone so different from me as a friend really opened my eyes to the other side of things. Had I only been around other people like me, I would never have known what it is to look at life through a different perspective. For that, I'm truly glad that you came into my life.

But the most important thing remains that through these four years, whenever we had fun together, I was the happiest I've ever been. When people ask me which phase of my life I enjoyed the most, I can say "uni life" without hesitation. Despite not really enjoying what I was doing academically, I found joy in every other aspect. Lab was a thousand times more tolerable because I had you to share my experiences with. You pulled me through some very difficult patches, and I think I've had some of the most enjoyable moments of my life in your company. That honour doesn't go to anyone else. :)

So, my dear Macho Girl, though we may not be spending the rest of our lives in the same country or doing the same thing, let me assure you that we will always be friends forever. We've already established that we don't need anything in common to keep us friends, and it shall remain that way forever. And this way, we get to share our experiences (as different as they may be) with each other, and enlighten each other to new things. Isn't that fascinating? Don't you worry even a bit ... amazing things are in store for you. Just take the time to enjoy them and cherish them like you have these four years. :)

I love you very much, and I'm proud to see that you've grown into a lovely young woman who is capable of tackling the challenges that life throws her way with maturity and strength. I'm glad to have been part of that journey and I will always cherish what we had ... no, have together. :D

*hugs tight*

P.S.: How did I never realize until now how appropriate that Faith Hill song was? *facepalm*