Sunday, April 26, 2009

E-Mail my heart

I was recently just browsing through a folder in my gmail account where I have stored all emails and chat records that mean something to me. I realised that almost all of them I have saved because somewhere buried in an ordinary looking email are words of deep affection... for example... "I love you for who you are", "You are an amazing friend", "I hope you find everything that you are looking for", "I'll always be there for you", "I don't know what I would do without you", "You have helped me through this rough patch", "I miss you", "I miss you too" etc etc. You get the gist....

The thing is, when I think about all the nice things said to me in email or chat, I struggle to dig out as many instances in face-to-face conversations with these very same people where they actually spoke out those words to me... or even a phone conversation (not sms). I have actually heard the spoken version only in the rarest of instances.

Why is it that we are more comfortable telling the people we love how we truly feel only through the internet by sending emails, chatting, becoming a fan on orkut, adding to top friends on facebook etc etc but seldom speak the same words when we meet?

Is it easier to open your computer, sign into your email and send an email saying you are thankful or something rather than picking up the phone and dialling the number? Or is money the issue here?

Maybe we just find it easier to express in an email because we have time to sit and think and frame the right sentences and so on. But don't spontaneous emotions count for anything?

5 comments:

Clueless said...

I guess it's just less embarrassing to say something through chat/email than it is to say it face-to-face, especially when you don't know how the other person will take it. But to a large extent, when it's something simple like saying "thank you" or "I miss you", I don't know why we choose to keep quiet most of the time. I guess it's a lesson we all need to learn ... to be more spontaneous with our emotions.

Good post! And appropriate title, heh! :)

simplime said...

Hey, I can't agree any more with you. I know many people who do that, one of them being me. I guess you can't just always show the same passion and dedication and love and affection in actions/face to face because you are scared of being called 'cheezy' or something like that. Moreover, not everyone has a capability to sound in the most appropriate way while saying something, I mean the tone :) But ya, it really is a rare thing to get to hear such things...

Shubhada said...

When you are with each other there is no reason to say I miss you because we do not miss each other. As far as it goes to say I love you or care for you, it is shown in simple actions. One does not have to say it. The direct words are not said, but every action will tell you how these people care for you or love you. We say these words only when we are not able to express them other ways. That is why you find these in emails or chats.

doublehead said...

Life is a conundrum and it is full of paradox. Of late I see a few of my relatives showing their affection to one another by hugging each other. Somehow I am not used to physical contacts, especially in the public, no matter how much I love that person. I feel uncomfortable with physical contacts in public. At the best a pat on the back is all I can do or receive. I am also equally dumb struck when it comes to saying verbally "I love you, I miss you, I care for you, you mean a world to me" etc etc. These are often said in the emails and letters (SMS these days) because there is no eye contact and there is no other way of expressing the feelings other than writing them down. When you meet a person that you love or care for, just meeting of the eyes is good enough to feel the love. The most beautiful words are always the unspoken ones. When you are with a person you love and care for there are so many ways you can express love, care and concern, words can take a back seat or disappear. Watch some of the "old" Sivaji Ganesan movies. He is actor par excellence when it comes to non-verbal communication and conveying feelings!!

doublehead said...

When eye and eye talk,
What is the use,
Of words and words.

This is from "Thirukkural" for you!!